What I have to say a lot of you ladies are not going to want to hear. I'm saying it, though, despite the fact that you'll stomp away pouting and may never read this blog again. I'm saying it because you need to hear it.
If you're a bridesmaid, keep your mouth shut.
That's it. Every day dozens of bridesmaids come through the studio for alterations, complaining about how ugly their dress is, how unflattering it is, how they would never in a million years wear it if it wasn't for their evil best friend that chose it for their bridal party. I've even had maids complain about how terrible it was in front of the bride. Most maids don't need the correction, but there are some out there that do.
The cold, hard truth is: this is not your wedding. This is not about YOU. This is about celebrating your friend's very special day, and helping her pull it off with a little finesse. Nobody cares how good you look in your dress. Nobody cares what you think of it. I don't, the bride probably doesn't, and most of the guests won't think twice about it.
Bridesmaids are enlisted to help the bride organize, plan, and generally execute the wedding more efficiently. If you have been chosen for an attendant in a bridal party, you are expected to run errands for the bride and groom, which may be anything from setting appointments to picking up orders. You are expected to be moral support for the bride, and offset the stress so that nobody goes street rat crazy from all the pressure. You are there to support your friend or family member, do what they need you to do, and do it on time so nobody is murdered. It's that simple.
I know there are some brides out there that take into consideration their maid's different body types and skin tones when picking out their ensembles so that everyone can look like an entourage but also look their best. Some brides even pay for the dresses, which- ladies!- is not customary!! Even those maids still complain, however, so the kindness is lost on them. I think it's nice that you've considered all these options to try and make everyone look their best! You're in the minority!
That's not to say every bride should do this! Please! Maids need to know that a bride has a plan for order, a design, a vision for this very important day in their lives. If you're not up to the task of helping out, supporting your friend, and keeping your mouth shut about the trivial stuff like how you might look in your dress, think twice about being in that bridal party. If you can't do those few things, politely decline the invite.
"Dear Friend,
Thank you so much for the invite to be a part of your bridal party. I am so flattered and honored to have been chosen to share in the responsibility and celebration of your "Big Day." I must, however, politely decline the invitation, as I cannot be fully committed to the responsibility at this time.
I would love, however, to attend the wedding as a guest and can't wait to see everything come together so beautifully!!
I look forward to the celebration!
WIth love and sincerity,
Your Concerned and Respectful Friend"
Done and done.
Love,
Sara
