The dilemma being: most bridal gown designers require at least 6 months lead time to get your gown, in your size and color, made up and shipped off to your local retailer. Add on to that another 6-8 weeks to allow time for an alteration, and you may as well start shopping the moment you get engaged, and hope you've got at least a year for your planning process.
The truth is, a lot of brides have no idea that it will take 6 months to even get a dress in their hands. Most women think that they can order it, it'll be there in a couple of months, and they can cross "dress" off the list because it's taken care of. That's when I usually end up with a lot of panicked brides and parents, calling because they've only got 2 weeks till the wedding and the dress doesn't fit.
I had two scenarios this week that prompted this post. One bride that hated her dress, one that put it off and now it's too late to order it. One at a time!
To our girl that brought her dress in for an alteration and realized that she hated the dress: you're not alone! I'm sure it's been sitting in the back of your closet, waiting until a reasonable time before your wedding date to see a tailor, because you wanted to lose a couple of pounds or hadn't found the right shoes. It happens! I'm sure you could only really remember the vague details of the gown: it's long, it's white, it's strapless, it's pretty. Done. Now you take it out of the bag at the tailor's, and it's not what you remember. It's not you!
I've seen this happen to a number of people over the last few years. One of my friends ended up purchasing a second gown last minute from a department store and having it altered. Last year I had a woman come to me with a gown that was "crazy on sale" but when she put it on after a couple of months, realized it made her look like a "fridge" (her words! not mine!). She found another dress, and convinced herself that the charge on her card for the other dress was for the brakes on her car. "Wow, that sucks that the brakes had to go out, just before the wedding!" :)
The reality is bridal dress shopping is hard work! It's stressful, it's overwhelming, and you never remember exactly what you saw, no matter how many pictures were taken on your cell phone. It's okay if you don't like it, but don't let yourself get even more frustrated when you can't have that dream dress.
Today I got a call from a bride who's wedding is mere weeks away. "I put it off, and time just flew by!" Fortunately for her she still has a few options, since she still has a few weeks. This is the advice I gave her:
- Check out department store websites for a bridal section. Often the brick-and-mortar store won't have a department for bridal, but the websites will have a small collection of dresses that have been deemed appropriate for brides, bridesmaids, and mothers of the bride and groom. Check out the selection here at
Nordy's.
- Don't be afraid to buy used. There are plenty of thrift stores and consignment stores out there that may just have exactly what you're looking for. Give yourself time to take it to the dry cleaner, or even try washing it at home in your tub with some lukewarm water and some castile soap (always read care instructions! Care will depend on fabric structure and fiber content). Alterations and dry cleaning will add to your budget and timeline, so take that into consideration.
- Check out a charity. In almost every major city there is a charity that accepts donations of bridal gowns and other formal wear. Many are auctioned off, and all proceeds go to charity. Here in Portland, we have
Brides Against Breast Cancer, which is becoming so popular that they actually limit the amount of donations that they take in.
- Ask a friend. Many of my brides this year are on a really tight budget with this floundering economy. I've seen so many come in for a consultation for a custom gown, and then get a call a couple of weeks later about restyling a gown that a friend or family member let them have. Restyling is a relatively complex and long process, but maybe you have a friend or family member out there that would love to see their gown worn again. They may let you borrow it for the day, or they may even let you keep it. I think this is a beautiful way to pay it forward.
- Get online.
Ebay, baby! Designer gowns, discount prices!
Etsy.com is all handmade, and many artisans are able to turn their work around in a matter of days. No matter where you go on the internet, be prepared to wade through a lot of posts, and always always keep your head on straight. Buyer beware!
Good luck, ladies!
Love,
Sara
